The culprits dinged, they donged, and then they ditched. No one was spared. And <insert gender-neutral term besides ‘Boy’ here that’ll make both sides hate me> did it raise hell in the online McMinnville community groups of Facebook, Nextdoor, and, conceivably, your mom’s house if she had her doorbell rang in the early morning hours of Feb 21st, 2025.

Who did all this mischievous D-cubing (Ding*Dong*Ditch, keep up) and why did this pastime of the passed-by cause such a stir? Could it be that we live in an otherwise peaceful, and dare I say “chill”, city where a normal day might consist of a few loose animals alongside unseen and unremarkable crimes that **do not come to the average citizen’s doorstep.** However, this, quite literally, woke up the caring Karens and the dad-bod Daves of Mac who would have rather been sleeping soundly.

Were you, or someone you know, affected by The Great McMinnville Ding Dong Ditching of 2025? If you were, seemingly, you weren’t alone. However, when asked to comment about this low-stakes crime spree, most people seemed to think it was a bit funny. One person called it “Harmless fun”, and another person jokingly posted, “If anyone has information on the whereabouts of these 2 boys, please contact the non-emergency line” next to a picture of Beavis & Butthead.

There has been no comment from the McMinnville Police Department about the late-night shenanigans because, frankly, I don’t think anyone has asked due to the fact that no one got hurt.

-Andrew Brunello